• Allison Hammond, Ed.D.

Learn from your Positive Self-Talk

Hi, it's me Allison.

And today I'd like to talk a little bit about positive self-talk.

And the reason I would like to talk about that is because I've been trying to practice it more

for myself and trying to remember when I'm journaling at night what I'm grateful for and what I did well.

I'm remembering that when I used to work with children and we would talk about doing positive self-talk. We wanted to make sure that we were being specific.

So the children can learn what they did, and what the result was of

what they did and so that they could learn how they can make a positive

difference through their positive behavior. And so that we can cheer them

on. The children are actually learning what they did well and not just getting random Kudos.

What I've been thinking about is in my journal or when I look at myself in the mirror,

I might say good job. Or maybe something happened during the day that I was embarrassed by or didn't go quite the way I wanted to, I would look in the mirror and I Say “You're okay.”

Or sometimes in the morning when I get up and I'm getting ready to go out into the world,

I look in the mirror and I think “You know, you're looking good.”

Lastly, when I try new things and maybe it doesn't work out, I do say to myself, “That was a good try.”

So, I'm on the right track for my positive self-talk, but I'm still being a little too general

so that I'm really not learning about what I did and what the positive result was. Sometimes to me, when I I do this kind of positive self-talk, it can feel like bragging, but really this is where I start to learn what I'm good at in the world and how I'm contributing.

So instead of doing general self-talk, I've been practicing specific self-talk.

For example, in my journal because I wanted to give you some real examples from my life,

I was noticing that I had actually asked for help when I needed to get something done with a team and when I asked for help we actually had a better result.

So in my journal I wrote that I did a good job asking for help with the job was a job well done.

And then instead of saying “You're okay," I said, “Having a different idea

and sharing it helped the team.”

And in the morning, sometimes, when I think, “Oh, you're looking good. You can go out into the world," what I recognized is not only did I get up early enough to curl my hair,

but I actually also had time to meditate which gives me a lot of peace. I'm ready to go out and face the day from a better start than being frazzled.

In my journal, I wrote you completed the American Sign Language class,

but what you learned was it's not for you to go back to school at this time.

I'm hoping that giving you some tips from what I'm trying to do in my own life will give you some ideas about how you can make your own self talk be much more positive, much more effective, and you can actually learn from yourself.

And while you're at it - be specific when you're giving your friends, your children, family members, co-workers positive feedback or some encouragement.

You should remember that when you say good job help to point out to them really what they did well.

And so kind of the formula for doing all this is to

* stop and think about what you did,

* maybe who you did it with,

* and what was the positive result.

So best wishes today and have a great time giving yourself your own self talk. Thanks.

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